It's Valentine's Day. It can be one of the best days of the year, or one of the worst. I've had my share of both. I remember being single and not having a valentine. Then, there are the lucky times like now, where I get to spend my Valentine's day with my wonderful husband, Roger, doing whatever we want to do, and sometimes that means nothing at all.
One of my most memorable Valentine's days wasn't so much on the day, but what happened happened the week after. It was when my ex-husband asked me for a divorce. Ironically, Valentine's day had been great. In fact, he brought me flowers at work. I'm sure we did other great stuff too, but mostly I remember the flowers at work because the next week, when he asked me for a divorce, those flowers were still there staring at me, haunting me, reminding me that it was an insincere gesture.
I guess it just goes to show you, that its not what happens on Valentine's day that makes or breaks your relationship. It's not the flowers and candy that you get, or the nice meal you eat, or the jewelry or any of it, really. A true valentine loves you unconditionally. A true valentine loves you all year round, not just on one day. Someone who truly loves you, takes all of you, the good, bad, weird and make-up-less and loves you just the same.
When knowing that marrying me meant loving my son, and bringing along all of my past baggage, but Roger wanted to do it anyway, I knew I had someone special. At times when I made a mistake on how I handled a situation with my step-kids, but knowing my heart was in the right place, and then Roger forgave me....I knew I found love. Even though I sometimes get a little obsessed with things being just the right way, because in the big scheme of things it is a very little thing, and Roger goes along with me anyway, I know that love is unconditional. When I get a little bossy and try to sass my husband around, and Roger just chuckles at me and makes me laugh too...I know I've found joy. At the end of the day, when I turn to my husband and say, "I forgot to put any make-up on today!" and his response is "You don't need any make-up; I didn't even notice." I know I have found my true valentine.
It's not what gift you get that makes the relationship a good one. It's how you treat one another, how you speak to one another, how you resolve your differences and show love and respect. It's something you need to do all year long, not just one day out of the year. When you give yourself to that someone special, you are giving them something priceless. If you haven't already, I hope you find your special valentine, and if you have found them, hold them close and show them how special they are to you.