What does THAT mean? I don't know, but it sounds good, right? Actually, what I mean by that is that our family and life within that family is in a constant state of change right now. As our kids get older, responsibilities for both them and us change. How we parent them is changing. How we relate to them and them to us, is changing. I see it like a pinball machine, where the pinball is the child and all you can do is direct them from here to there, but really there is no guarantee they will do what you want them to. In reality, you just hope that you push them out of the way in time before they fall into the hole of a bad decision, but that doesn't always happen. Our experience tells us that we may know the best choice for them, but our experience also tells us that at this age (19,19, and 20 years old) they may in fact learn best by making the wrong choice...a mistake.
It's at this point in my life, that I wonder how my parents made it through those late teen early twenties years. A lot of love, a lot of laughter, and a lot of grace from God, I am sure.
Since only one of our kids is living at home right now, due to school and other choices, we are also learning how to build and work on relationships with them, outside of our home. My husband, Roger, does a good job of making lunch dates with our daughter, Alex, to get caught up on what is new in her life. I try to do the same with our son, Christian. It take a concerted effort however, much different than when the kids were at home and we saw them everyday.
When they do come home to stay for whatever reason, our experience can be a lot like this KFC commercial:
When Roger and I saw this commercial, we laughed because we could relate. I hope it gives you a good chuckle too. Yep, this is just like our house (minus the KFC).
So, we continue to navigate and find our way around these changing times with our kids. We work on building our relationships with them, something that we once took for granted. Now I know why my parents call or text me every day. They miss me, they love me, they're connecting with me.
What relationship challenge are you facing with your kids today? Are you in a stage of life with them where things are changing (from toddler to school age, entering teen years, single to married?) What are you learning to do differently with them and how is it working? Do you have a suggestion to give that would work great for others? Post a comment or send an email: firstname.lastname@example.org
KFC Commercial on YouTube